Use a Letter of Instruction to Stop East Coast Attorneys in Their Tracks
by Elder Law Attorney Lora G. Johnson, Johnson and Ashworth P.L.L.C.
I once had a client who had no children and wanted to leave everything to her own family and to disinherit her deceased spouse’s family. Her spouse’s siblings had been very hostile to her and were completely unsupportive of her long-term spousal caregiving role.
My client expressed to me repeatedly that her brother had been there to support her and he should be her sole beneficiary. Her husband’s siblings had already reached out and asked for money upon his death. I was concerned, knowing the firmness of her resolve to not leave money to her husband’s family and understanding the hostility between the parties. I asked her to write a letter of instruction and briefly explain her experience and the reasoning behind her plan. She provided me a copy of this letter for my file.
When this woman passed away, she had named her brother as beneficiary on all of her accounts. Her brother felt bad for the surviving siblings of his stepfather, so he offered to gift some of the funds to them, against my advice. You may have heard the phrase, “no good deed goes unpunished.”
I received a call from an attorney on the east coast about five seconds after the offer was made by the brother. This east coast attorney proceeded to relay to me the story of the closeness of her clients to the decedents and how they spoke each evening together, enjoying a wonderful relationship.
After story time, I asked the east coast attorney if he’d be interested in reading a statement from my client. Interestingly, after reviewing the letter from my client which happened to contradict every point of the story, the east coast attorney advised his clients to accept the gift and move on.
Facts change when you die. Stories change. When you have passed, the true story can get lost.
One of the ways you can ensure that your wishes are carried out and that the provisions of your estate planning are not overridden is to write a Letter of Instruction. A Letter of Instruction is a way to share final words of care with your loved ones and explain the choices you made in your last will and testament. A Letter of Instruction can be changed at any time without needing to change your estate planning documents, so as you recall certain details or concerns, you can add that documentation to your Letter of Instruction. Things that may seem obvious can actually be extremely helpful in your family’s handling of the estate/trust administration. Telling your beneficiaries that it is important that they don’t fight about the administration is a great idea. Telling your family members that you love them can go a long way. Here are some additional important topics that you may want to cover in the Letter of Instruction:
What were the terms of the “loans” you made to family? Were they just gifts which should be forgiven?
Who takes the cat? Is there a special diet the family needs to know about?
Do you prefer not to have a funeral service?
Do you have strong preferences about cremation/burial?
What do you want done with your body or ashes?
Do you want the guardians for your children to know certain things about your children or your hopes for them while in their custody?
Do you have special online accounts that would need to be shut down? How can one locate your passwords? Have you set up a Legacy Contact for your phone?
What do you want done with your personal property items? Is there a specific charity that should receive them as a donation?
What debts do you have and who holds them?
Do you have preferences for your beneficiaries regarding how to handle their inheritance and what you are hoping that they will do with it?
Do you have information about or preferences for your obituary, or do you prefer to not have one published?
Where can all of your important documentation be found?
What pension or income sources would need to be notified at your death?
What friends do you want to make sure are notified of your passing, and how can they be contacted?
Explanation or clarification of your position regarding any complicated family dynamics or stories to help your loved ones move through the grieving process.
If you make your voice heard with a clear Letter of Instruction, it will most likely prevent misunderstandings amongst remaining family members and beneficiaries… and it can most certainly put the brakes on an east coast attorney’s dream of draining a vulnerable estate.